G'day fellow Peakers/Lynchians/Pie, Donut, & Coffee Lovers!!
Today I'd like to say that Twin Peaks and all of Lynch's works revolve around one thing:
Happiness is only an illusion.
As we watch every on-screen chemistry, every life issue, and every character in the Lynchian Universe, they all lead to unhappiness and frustration and horror and crimes. When we all think things will look up for whatever goes down, it never goes as we expect and we are left in awe of the darkness output that is presented.
I think Lynch has been telling us this inner wisdom deep down inside within each cinematic masterpiece he has accomplished in his career. That happiness doesn't exist. Though the films Blue Velvet and Wild At Heart would be highly pointed-out films with happiness and a happily ever after at the end, I would say that are the only exceptions of the Lynchian Universe gone wrong.
At least in Blue Velvet, we see that there is a light somewhere in the depths of darkness in terms of Dorothy Vallens and that Jeffrey Beaumont might spiral into the darkness only to swim out of it and battle it before it is too late. In Wild At Heart, we see that Sailor is given a second chance at redemption to keep his relationship with Lula, despite all that had happened in the film.
Those who pursue to be happy only become more and more unhappy with time. They might have it all, but never feel quite satisfied. Like when we thought Cooper would have a shot of being happy with Annie, it all pivoted down when she was captured and led him to his doom in the Black Lodge. When we all assumed that Bobby and Shelly were to be the couple of The Return, we see that they are no longer together. And when we all thought Truman and Josie were to be the couple to root for, Josie's doom ends it all. Crushing it to bits.
I could go on and on about the other films like Lost Highway and Mulholland Drive, but it's simply this: they pursue happiness or they drown in unhappiness because they've kept failing to do so.
I've come to the conclusion that we are doomed to the pursuit of happiness, only to be pursuing more unhappiness in our lives than needed. Friends come and go, leaving you with a disappointment burdensome to your heart, and making you think, Why do I even bother when all I'm going to be is disappointed?
People have come and gone in my life. One just did to make this conclusion and gave me the inspiration to write this article. Someone who I thought cared about me, liked me, and enjoyed my company. Even though I betrayed him over a year ago due to a private matter among others, a few months ago he gave me what I thought was a second chance at reconnection and repairing the bond. Instead, I was only given a kick in the groin for trying to do so, and being left on the side of the road, run over by his car, and abandoned on that road for the ravenous vultures and crows to peck at my carcass (so you know, that was all metaphorically written, not something that had happened personally to me in real life, just in case you were wondering, lol).
This man, for a while, gave me happiness and we were never at all in a romantic relationship. He was supposedly a close friend to me, and last night he had let me down and became just another disappointing bump on the road. All because of his insecurity about what I was to him. I was basically wanting nothing more from him than a friendship that was nurturing and happy, but he always assumed I wanted more. I will not reveal this man's name or his face, for I will always respect his anonymity. At least that's the only good thing I can give him, for now, I feel the fool forever paying much attention to him and sharing with him things that close friends share in life.
He denies having made me a fool, but I know he was playing a mind game with me all the time I thought we were reconnecting. Making me feel more drowned in my guilt for the betrayal I had inflicted on him... as if it was his way of punishing me and guilt-tripping me even more by hanging around but rarely even chatting with me. Even though he gave me all the times I could hit him up, I never got anything from him except for maybe once a month for what is either 15-30 mins if I was ever lucky to have him around that long.
I do not know what his intentions ever were with reconnecting with me when he could've just left me alone to drown more on my own. I doubt he'll ever give any straight answer as to why except nothing else to say. As he has simply displayed.
I can only say that I've always pursued happiness. Thinking that it was a part of life that would always shine. Instead, a dark shadowy eclipse has given me unhappiness for an unspeakable amount of time. I thought he respected me more, understood, and was willing in any way to help, but I don't even know anymore.
Life is short. Friends come and go. Our loved ones (family or pets) pass away.
Only sadness and even disappointment come with all of it. The only gifts they are meant to bring. Why pursue happiness when all that's going to happen is it gets taken away from you by force?
I think Lynch is very explicit about this aspect of life. It's what consists of every aspect of the darkness ever displayed. And it's not just in Lynch's works. I see it in others as well. It's just David Lynch manages to paint a bigger, brighter, and clearer picture of what the darkness is all about and how pure and unavoidable it is. And impossible to overcome as well.
To those who are close to me in terms of friendship reading this, I know you will be highly concerned for me and my mental health. I assure you, I am fine. I've moved on fairly quickly, considerably when I had spent almost a year knowing this man, guilting for months, and only have him resurface to give me more suffering than I really needed. But now, the guilt is on him, if he even feels it. I am relieved. I have no regrets.
Everyone feels this pain in one way or another. I'm one of you. And it has made me who I am today. I always walk and continue life with the new scars I've gained with every personal injury I received. Such thing is life.
And Lynch, as always, has displayed it so beautifully, horrifically, and romantically like no other.
No comments:
Post a Comment